It is absolutely not your fault. Infidelity is a serious betrayal in a relationship, and her actions of having an affair and then trying to shift the blame onto you are completely unjust.
In the beginning of your relationship, she showed affection in certain ways, but then changed and started demeaning you, flirting with others, and constantly comparing you unfavorably. Her behavior was already causing damage to your self-esteem and your relationship long before the affair came to light.
She should take responsibility for her own choices to be unfaithful instead of suggesting that it's because you didn't give her enough attention. A healthy relationship involves communication and working through issues together, but she's shutting you down when you try to talk, which is also an unhelpful way to handle things.
You have every right to feel jealous and betrayed by what she's done, and it's important that she acknowledges her wrongdoing and takes steps to rebuild trust if the relationship is to have any chance of being repaired. But don't for a second think that her affair is on you; it's a result of her own decisions and lack of respect for your marriage.
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FROM 116.10.197.*