- 主题:孩子写的英文论文，请提意见
What thing would you like to do that you have never done before? For me, it would be to be having the top grade in class. I would like it because it can make me more popular, make my parents happy and make me more hard working. This is why I would like to have a grade that is the top of the class.
Making my parents happy is good for me. My parents always hopes the best from me, so if I don’t get a good grade, they often would “kill” me. I can benefit from my parents if I got a good grade. They said I can buy something I want If I got a good grade.
Having a top grade can make me a lot hard working too. It can make me more and more self-confident on learning. I would know that I have the patensial to be good at learning, and can make me more want to improve my grades.
It can make me a lot popular. Because you have a good grade, more and more people will ask you questions on learning. Being popular can help me on elections. That way, I can go to a better middle school.
--来自微水木3.5.11
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FROM 223.104.42.*
虽然有几个语法错误，但是能有意识的用这么复杂的语法，对小学生来说很厉害了。
【 在 icome 的大作中提到: 】
: What thing would you like to do that you have never done before? For me, it would be to be having the top grade in class. I would like it because it can make me more popular, make my parents happy and make me more hard working. This is why I would like to have a grade that is the top of the class.
: Making my parents happy is good for me. My parents always hopes the best from me, so if I don’t get a good grade, they often would “kill” me. I can benefit from my parents if I got a good grade. They said I can buy something I want If I got a good grade.
: Having a top grade can make me a lot hard working too. It can make me more and more self-confident on learning. I would know that I have the patensial to be good at learning, and can make me more want to improve my grades.
: ...................
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FROM 219.141.224.*
小错误比较多，可以用grammarly看看。 内容太少不能叫论文，可以叫段落。
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FROM 180.167.151.*
典型五段论
这是老师教的模版吧
虽然差个结尾
模版还是掌握得挺好的
剩下的问题比较大
从语法到词汇到论述都不太行
孩子是不是比较小
太小了不适合写这个
建议强化语法和词汇
如果需要比较高的英语水平的话
多读原版书多背课文
如果走高考路线 倒不用急着下太大功夫
【 在 icome 的大作中提到: 】
: What thing would you like to do that you have never done before? For me, it would be to be having the top grade in class. I would like it because it can make me more popular, make my parents happy and make me more hard working. This is why I would like to have a grade that is the top of the class.
: Making my parents happy is good for me. My parents always hopes the best from me, so if I don’t get a good grade, they often would “kill” me. I can benefit from my parents if I got a good grade. They said I can buy something I want If I got a good grade.
: Having a top grade can make me a lot hard working too. It can make me more and more self-confident on learning. I would know that I have the patensial to be good at learning, and can make me more want to improve my grades.
: ...................
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修改:tokilltime FROM 111.193.97.*
FROM 111.193.97.*
第一句，Is there anything you want to do but have never done before? 更地道一点。
【 在 icome 的大作中提到: 】
: What thing would you like to do that you have never done before? For me, it would be to be having the top grade in class. I would like it because it can make me more popular, make my parents happy and make me more hard working. This is why I would like to have a grade that is the top of the class.
: Making my parents happy is good for me. My parents always hopes the best from me, so if I don’t get a good grade, they often would “kill” me. I can benefit from my parents if I got a good grade. They said I can buy something I want If I got a good grade.
: Having a top grade can make me a lot hard working too. It can make me more and more self-confident on learning. I would know that I have the patensial to be good at learning, and can make me more want to improve my grades.
: ...................
--
FROM 219.141.224.*
背哪个课文会显高级？
【 在 tokilltime 的大作中提到: 】
: 典型五段论
: 这是老师教的模版吧
: 虽然差个结尾
:
: 模版还是掌握得挺好的
:
: 剩下的问题比较大
: 从语法到词汇到论述都不太行
: 孩子是不是比较小
: 太小了不适合写这个
:
: 建议强化语法和词汇
: 如果需要比较高的英语水平的话
: ..................
发自「今日水木 on Android」
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FROM 124.64.19.*
谢谢提醒
【 在 ferrall 的大作中提到: 】
: 小错误比较多，可以用grammarly看看。 内容太少不能叫论文，可以叫段落。
: --
:
: ...................
--来自微水木3.5.11
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FROM 223.104.42.*
对，不过我觉得的第二点不对
【 在 tokilltime 的大作中提到: 】
: 典型五段论
: 这是老师教的模版吧
: 虽然差个结尾
: ...................
--来自微水木3.5.11
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FROM 223.104.42.*
啥都行 新概念就行
目的是高考的话 背课本也行
【 在 wang77 的大作中提到: 】
: 背哪个课文会显高级？
: 发自「今日水木 on Android」
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FROM 111.193.97.*
这几个点其实都不太行
这么说吧 让娃用“我觉得得高分很重要”写个中文作文
你看能写出来什么
我猜跟这篇英文作文的层次也差不多
这篇文章从语言来说是语法和语料弱的问题
从内容来说是论述逻辑的问题
论述逻辑这个事情不是被语言限制的 而是被思维深度和眼界限制的
所以我说太小的孩子写不了这个 因为本来也想不了那么深
【 在 icome 的大作中提到: 】
: 对，不过我觉得的第二点不对
: --来自微水木3.5.11
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修改:tokilltime FROM 111.193.97.*
FROM 111.193.97.*